🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?